Eh...get out of my naas and into my buzz?

Oh my god like the picnic was like hyperborean buzzing without your like kicks on incase you didn’t notice, and its like just so typical of us to be like having this convo at I love techno, its a shame we couldn’t actually go so we just sent over horrendous cunt with all our iphones instead, but like its more or less like being there.

The bigger fish we like just had to oh my god fry.com/totalbuzzersincaseyoudintnotice was that like sap and fingers heard a rumour that people daynt think we’re like buzzing for real anymore, and that its more about the naassness, at least that’s what they like deducted when some stayner grabbed them in some like hippie gaff and was like ‘stop the rot you bastard whelp of a whore rat’ when like the lads stuck on some clearly dingin tune by like Armen van Byuren at like oh my god are you actually having a buzz o clock in the morning. So its like we all have to like don our most delish threads and ‘leak’ a video of us just like having an absolute totes sav buzz for real and being all like ‘eh what? Are we actually doing this or like am I just losing my marbles? So we call like everyone to the gaff, show of solidarity and all that, which makes like 6 of us. Oh my god are we mad?

So we ‘re all just there like licking the camera and like air kissing and bopping and like the ushe shit people like clearly do when they’re having it like first thing on the BK menu, as in like whopper.
Then shit gets a bish madj, cuz like word comes in from Ghent that Pj’s iphone has like taken a dodgy yammer, and like Sy’s iphone is like off scoring some other lad in the pit who promised he’d give all of our iphones pills but its like messy cuz like Padge’s Iphone wanted to score Sy but like Padge didn’t, and like kinda has a thing for Sarah’s iphone.

So its like my iphone and Gizzer’s iphone take pj’s iphone to the jacks but like all its saying is like ‘oh my god I cant believe we’re like at the picnic this is gonna be like such a totes net bulger of an event that like I might actually just like go to Thailand and say more things like this for the 3 months following it.’ But my iphone is like ‘oh my god pjs Iphone shut up you’ve got your like buzz calendar stuck up your orse. we’re at I love techno and your like anointing the buzz with sentiments that have no place in like the latest layer of the nu-rave movement which involves like constantly commenting on the buzz you’re having while you’re having it and like filling your digie with shots of your mates looking like they’re taking time out from commenting on the buzz to actually like have a buzz. So like shut up. The picnic was like months ago and like yea, needless to say we like oh my god absolutely buzzed until, Erol Alkan had to get a restraining order and got like 38 hours worth of top notch air wanking dance action, but like get it together, our iphones are like trying to have a buzz in the like here and actual now.’ And like what can gizzer’s iphone say to that other than ‘oh my god that is like so mdma at exit’.

So its like my iphone just rams a bit of My Dreams Made Actual in pjs iphones charger hole and next thing you know they’re like back on the floor and like funneling those pills that Sy’s iphone managed to get off like that nacker. I mean trust the lower class to give narcotics to a machine. Typical. well my iphones not complaining, and its like video link buzz cuz between us like embarrassing ourselves for the camera to remind all and sundry that we’re still at the like total top of the buzzer ladder, while our iphones are like crowd surfing at like a joint set from like Annie Mac and Tiga’s itouch its like:eh…..whopperbuzzyea?...needless to say eh…..YEA!

The treeth hurts

August 21

Yea and it’s like ye know eh ye like know that your mates are all sound and like your buzzing like so much and it’s like this is your prime, your PRIME, like again, YOUR PRIME, and it’s like why can’t everyone just have a like buzz and like stop worrying about like the way people get jobs and like use money to like buy things like windows and milk, and instead just like have an ACTUAL buzz instead of like pretending to have one and like ye know as such end up like not telling the truth to their parents and shit….and I’m there thinkin “Oh my god, dinger should have like a PhD or some shit cuz like this is basically the fundamentals of reality he´s hitting on here. So like in my head im like BOOM! And its like yes we are so doing this..and I’m like come on dinger we´re like so getting a joer to like each of our parents gaffs and like ur gonna tell them what you like just told me……it cant be far, I mean I assume we´re in dalkey, after all we did just see some bangin like electray merchant like whomp out the beefers in like the button tripod or whatever the fuck and like we´re like on the sesh afterwards so like if we´re not at least on the dart line ill eat my tits…

So like we ALL end up piling into this joer on our way to dingers like gaff in like dalkey or wherever the fuck, and it’s like “eh….yea na na na na” cuz like zingbot has like crammed his decks into the car and we´re all just like throwing it up to the big guy in the sky basically going like chicken orimental to this new tune by like erol alkan or like booka shade or some other like name that seems to make noise that like we all totally buzz of for totals sake.

So like we all head, we´re talkin ALL the na na brigade here, to like dingers ma´s gaff and it’s like “eh….ring!” on the door…then it’s like BOOM! Cuz she’s all like “Peter what..what is this…who are all these..oh sure there´s Patrick..is he ok” and like straight off the bat Dinger´s just like “mum shut up and listen…it’s like ye know the way when you’re like trying to like say something and its like you’re there thinking about what you might actually not say and like things like why you’re shoes mightn’t work for football so you have to like get new ones cuz like there’s only so much that like your mates who are like so sound and like so important and you like have to say what you mean now NOW because if you don’t you might like end up and it’ll be like really un happy for you and your FAMILY like and you know that that can’t happen because it’s like music is SO important to the way your life is when you’re like there feeling it with your like MATES friends and its like not about being drunk or anything like that its like REAL and like you want to cry to make sure that you can feel that everything that you like have is like FUN instead of like being on tv with your parents”..and its like “eh dinger you sap say what you said in the gaff about all that stuff about having jobs and everything” but it’s like well too late cuz he´s like already loafed dan and like taken the decks down to the beach, and I have to say like if this K has anything to say about it we are all SO going to Diplo in twisted pepper tonight.

August 14th 2009 – How to electraycute yourself withate mentioning the picnic

Oh my god like even though i was like knockers deep in the actual sesh i like still couldn’t believe that like the like BOOM! had been actually captured on like snipe´s skin or whatever. He like so got a bangin tat when he was at the picnic it´s like a drawing of sum absolute buzzer wearing like little more than the buzz and a wife beater with his fingers up Erol Alkan´s buzz..

But then it’s like SUCH an intense change of direction buzz cuz like Ste-ay is like on the
floor there just goin "it’s like we´re all like fizzing onto each others nats in the queue for sonar or whatever"
But then it’s like he just like doesn’t understand what the buzz is for a bit, and like starts foaming onto like paddy’s decks, so paddy like decks him with a copy of the bloody beetroots latest attempt, and like next thing I know we`re like having a buzz on Steo’s carcass but it’s like so weird cuz like I’m fairly sure this is like funeral time but instead it’s like EH.Buzz!

And it’s like before u can say “Oh my god let’s like run through the hurdles of naass” we´re like on the way to Wexford and like even though Steo’s dead u can so tell once the buzz gets more electray (which is still djeadly by the way) he´s so gonna crack into Shoshana, cuz like even though he´s dead and she´s like not or whatever, it´s like so blatant that like to fight the buzz is like to fight that time that we tried to like not to go to like buzz in the gaff after Calvin Naassness

And like even though I’m fairly sure like rigor mortis is like stetting in or whatever I have to say like Steo´s like on the best form I’ve seen in ages and we´re all like "eh yea yea yea yea yea eh nah yea yea yea nah" and Shauna’s like "oh my god like I know it’s like a carcass or whatever but like Steo is like such a nice guy and like this is just such a buzz´. Patchy tried to wreck our like whopper later on by being all like "ehh lads we have to contact the family, this is a dead body here you whore rats". but like we’re so balls deep in like Simo´s new mix "cretinous warblings of a puckering anus 09" that like we don’t even hear him so we just go like on and like on and like on for ages or whatever.

Cheese related naassness for the boom! Generation

So there we were in Saturn’s orbits of naassness filming each other laughing at each other filming each other, when babes drops his or her glass of absolute neon cheese on like the mixer thus producing a like ingenious little remix of the latest effort from the like bloody beeshreets. It’s like eeeeerrwang a wang errrrrrrrr wang a wang errrrrrrr wang wang, and we’re all there like laying it down thick on like whoever the fuck’s stepdad’s gaff this is’s Persian rug, and it’s like ‘Oops, we’ve gone and like wrecked another expensive item in aid of having a like buzz’ which by the way is like so not oops in case ye like didn’t get that. Babes rocks over to me like foaming at the mouth or whatever but like still saying boom occasionally so like the old eyes rolling back into the cranium symptom isn’t that worrying. It’s like hello my sisters mates all did medicine, or whatever. Anybuzz babes pitches up and is all like ‘oh my like Boom! god babes that t-shirt doesn’t even say ‘oh my god if we’re ever gonna be naass then surely now is the time to be super hyper turbo nigs naass A9’ or whatever. I’m like at this stage going through babe’s iPod and like can only find like 40,000 photos of like us like totally taking the piss at like Shaneo’s little sisters 21st, so I like just mase the cunt and get back to like filming Honer and Fads throwing Sheebo’s dog at the decks.

Sunday 23rd May

‘That was so like nosh on or whatever’ and it’s like ‘eh, Jennyfaria I think you need to get your like nigs tested, cuz the like lot of us bursting into the room stork bolock electro with the decks and speakers, playing like ‘We are your like friends or whatever’ while Gicker and Marie were like going for the old ultimate super-anti nigs buzz in Flaine’s step-mum’s bed, has got to go down as like the best remix of a given situation since Ciara like puked all over Feltch’s ticket to ‘I love Techno’ while he was there trying to cut off a lock of Erol Alkan’s pubes in the button factory.

March 16th 2009

So we’re all out like having it whopper at like Annie Mac? Just like jumping up and down in the crowd, shouting ‘Super anti-whopper-nigs, super-anti-whopper nigs, na na na na, na na na na’, when Swelpo like cracks his shits and is just like “here Babes man buzz, we weren’t gonna say anything but like in celebration of you finally finishing your latest mix (‘Eh..is it just me or is this like so not nigs 09’) we like totally spiked your drink with all sorts of whopping dinger gear – Boom!’...at first I’m like ‘Eh lads that’s like Digitalism out of 10 on the old nigs scale but soon enough I’m like, to use a phrase, SO mad out of it that I like don’t even care? Next thing I know it’s like Boom! and I’m like in the jacks just screaming names of like such whopper bands that its more or less so Student bar back in the like day it should be banned or whatever?... Caso walks in and I have some little nu-rave nonse by the tits and I’m just like screaming ‘DIGITALISM, BOOKA SHADE, CROOKERS, CALVIN HARRIS, KLAXONS, NIGS, WHOPPER, JUSTICE, MGMT, BOOM!, ARMAND VAN BUYREN, Babes, MISS KITTIN, DIPLO’ in her like face or whatever. Some like utter nigs twat is like ‘Sorry man but I think you’re having an actual nervous breakdown right here in the like jacks of the button factory, although to be fair you wouldn’t be the first, you absolute fair weather scenster fu...’ and before he can finish Caso has like dragged me outside, stuffed a few more anti-nigs buzzes down my yammer and before I know it we’re like back in Shauna’s making a video of like all 3 of us giving it like loads on her couch listening to like XXX’ I know it’s like EH guys WHAT are we doing like dancing on the couch ?’ are we like totally surfing the waves of being liberated free spirited buzzers or are we just a sad bunch of..and then it’s like WHACK! And it’s like the fourth time in a month gizzer has like decked me for having what the lads have come to call one of my like, oh my god, TOTALLY NIGS moments.

Eh..electray’s like djeadly? Or whatever – Boom whopper nigs buzzin

So Simo’s like ‘Eh...are you actually taking the piss out of me?’ – and I have to say his reaction to my telling him the line up of the UCD ball is more or less entirely justified. I mean the whole thing is just so fucking anti-nigs that I don’t even have to think twice about whether it’s gonna be the first time I throw on the old ‘EH..JE WANNA JUST LIKE FUCK OFF AND LET ME DANCE OR WHATEVER’ t-shirt I got in like Paul Smith the other week. I knew the occasion of its first donning was gonna need to be whopper, and what with Calvin Harris, Crookers and like Booka Shade all playing I’m thinking put your whopper superlatives away cuz the UCD ball is officially gonna be like so NOT whopper-nigs we may as well all buy whopper new memory cards for our digies...Am I like joking? Eh..yea! but like not even really!

Saturday 14th February 2009

Ay may gawd las nysh was loike SAY MENTAL. Shaners is like so mental and like SUCH a free spirit – he was there last night wearing like a t-shirt with like just an actual tiger on it – and then him and Foggy were like lamping cds at each other for ages – they ended up like spilling cranberry juice all over Sub’s decks but we were all like in SUCH mental humour that it like so didn’t affect the banter (or the quality of tunes for that matter) and we ended up having like a massive pillow fight while listening to Dr. Lektroluv – who is like so whoppers he should more or less be banned.

I just noticed when we got back to Justyne babe’s dad’s gaff after like Digitalism (Eh...SO mad) that Rob’s t-shirt just said ‘Eh...FUCK OFF LETS FUCKING DANCE FOR FUCK SAKE BABY’ – so I’m like straight over to the guy and after like mess fighting for like 5 minutes with him, spilling like drinks everywhere and like wrecking Sub’s decks again (SO crazy – that’s like 4 sets of decks this year we’ve wrecked by virtue of being like SUCH off-the-chain-mentalists) and getting like Amy to like take pics with her digital I’m like, seriously man yir like SO mental with that t-shirt and oh my god like SUCH a free spirit – rob’s like I know man but like we’re like all SUCH mental free spirits that like I don’t know why yir picking me out, and I’m like ‘Eh..yir t-shirt is like off any chain I’ve ever seen, and its like SO ‘I LOVE TECHNO’. So we agree that while we are all like SO mental, with that t-shirt Rob is like both mental and like SUCH a free spirit concurrently, or whatever.

Sunday 15th February 2009

Eh went to some gig last night in like Tripod and it was like so nigs! It was so not banging and mental and like the crowd were like so shit....yid swear everyone was like a zombie the way they were just like floating around and like not even occasionally shouting ‘AY MAY GAWD THIS IS LIKE AMAZING – YEA MAYSH GIVING IT LAIDS’ – and just be like so fucked on like WHATEVER. Instead everyone was just like in a like trance listening to this bleepy shite – and me n Ciara agreed this would so not have happened back in the days of like Digitalism in the student bar – sometimes I really think music has lost its way...that so didn’t stop us from like taking like mad pics of like the whole gang like sticking their tongues out and like air kissing each other, which on an otherwise disappointing night was like so ‘eh...YEA!’

Luckily we like salvaged things back in like Caso’s step mom’s house – it was like SO funny....Caso and Si ended up having like a smoke fight? I know like WHAT were they at..me n the girls were just like watching them laughing our tits off, but also being like ‘guys you’re like so weird but like SUCH liberated mentalists that I like LOVE it’. We were like so taken aback that we only managed to take like 4 dozen photos of them...

Then right, it was so random..we were like knackers deep in banter and some like deadpan like stoner or whatever came into the room (eh it's like who invited all those buttoned down anti-buzzers – whoever did is like SO NOT SONAR’) and was like ‘Lads for fuck sake DON'T. We need those ciggys, we’re trying to have a buzz here and frankly the lot of you are destroying everyone’s tits with your cheese ass out of date electro naassness, poor attempts to be relevant, constant reference to how MENTAL you all collectively are, and now, in the name of ZANYNESS you’ve gone and fucked up a box of potentially delicious cigs...take your t-shirts that say things on them, your neon shades and raspberry vodka, and jump in a very expensive taxi to whatever dart stop you undoubtedly live beside and cheese the fuck off’...and like we’re all in such shock that Bex can barely get the words ‘eh that guy is like SO NOT a free spirit’ and fogs can barely assent ‘and like SO not that mental’.