In terms of actual, this is basic. HAY RANDOM IS THAT?

Say it’s like “Eh no, l I hired body tonic to naass my ‘Farewell to mephodrone, givez back the actual brain cells at the door will ye?’ party like actual way before you did” coming from the Johnner camp, while it’s “eh, I didn’t like snort basic triple x off the bor of the basic Shaw with some tayshell herayic buzzer he (who) claimed tee ain (to own) the dutch supplier’s phone number last Sunday fir nay reason” comin from the Griffo camp. And it’s like I can’t basically help but actually think that this whole ‘let’s give mephodrone an actual proper send-off buzz’ which has been doin the rounds of the jacks in Pygmalion of a 2am sesh of an anytime between Thursday to Sunday, is like basically tearing us an-actual-part? Or whatever.

And like getting stocked for these parties is an actual mare-bag of a bad buzz. Since Gizzer was found ate cayld (out cold) ateside the, yea like do not adjust your basic sets, Oirish-ACTUAL- Times, with his cacks down and a stack of burial’s b-sides tied around his nackers, along with a black-actual-plastic-bag full of mephodrone and a note from Joe Duffy stuffed in his nostril, the actual authorities have been tryin wreck the actual buzz of the minorities, as in like your average ledger on the street who just wants to irrelevantly stay awake for seven days after 3 pints of a Tuesday.

It’s like, in terms of having a buzz this is where we’re at, so like just basically get over it. The dole is 196 quid a week, a bag of buzz is like less than a basic tenth of that. Eh, in terms of the math, you do it, as I’m pretty sure I read on some K-Nacker bird’s wife-beater at some 2 month mesh (yea that’s right, we’re chattin about a mephodrone-sesh) in Rath-Actual-Mines the other like...eh I dunno, day?

And it’s like these are not the ramblings of an actual madzer. Like the other day I caught like Patch-o in the conservatory of some tayshel train-wreck of a gaff we stalled back to with some warriors after like 2 pints and a line at like noon on a Tuesday in Bally-Actual-Fermot’s finest place you’re least likely to get stung by Joe Duffy in a tree with a like powerful SLR and a box of doughnuts, there saying to a bag of mephobuzz “I wanna start a new generation with you”. And I was like “eh, this is getting fairly oddzers, and in terms of weird, this like....is”

What are ye deen fir knee ears?

And it’s like that’s all anyone’s shitin on about these actual days, and like it’s always so shit say like I’m like fuck actual that, I’m just gonna see what happens and like head dane the country with like all the heads and then like on to that warehouse party in like Kennilworth basic square, and then like to Galway which is supposed to be like such an actual laugh, and probs then just like head tee London and call it a night at like Header’s gaff in actual Brittas basic Bay or whatever. I mean it’s not gonna be mazers but like yee have tee dee somethin.

So it’s like we’re all buzzin in an actual convoy of more or less basic cars dane the country like buzzed out of our collective actuals on these basic animal crackers that Simo bought off like one of his like such a nacker mates but like we’ll overlook that cuz the buzz is so actual whops. And it’s like literals hilarious right, cuz like I must not see the actual corner or whatever and like the basic car ends up absolutes wrappers rained some tree and it’s like blood and tits everywhere and I’m like “eh lads, we’re like such mentalers, I think we like just had an absolute whopper of a car crash. And like Demo is like ‘Boomers! I like totes can’t feelers anything below my buzz!” and like even though his pelvers is like shattered I have to basically admit that like Padzers is on like actual crackers form. So it’s like “Lads fuck actual this, I’m like so not letting a series of horrific life threatening injuries ruin my nysh, let’s like pick up the actual pieces and continue with our totes mazers basic buzz forward slash sesh”. And before I can even pull away and leave the other lads’ basic carcasses there all the total buzzer survivors are there chanting “EROL FUCKIN ALKAN EROL FUCKIN ALKAN NAH NAH NAH NAH, NAH NAH NAH NAH” and I just know in the pit of my buzz that this night is gonna be like basically turbo anti-nigs, which in retrayspect it basically was.
Say we’re like back in the actual car bompin this new dodecahedron drug off the dasher listening to like Howie D’s “ If you like this it’s unequivocal evidence that you’re an horrendous cretin ‘09” mix, and when we arrive at the actual gaff everyone’s like fairly “eh...basic lads that was well super-nigs the way yee like left Ginner and Fads back there like dead without like buzzing off an ambo”. But like as soon as Symo whips out the decks and like a black plastic sack full of methodrone it’s like “ACTUAL BOOM! who even gives a shit?”

And like maybe it’s cuz I’m so boomed out of my whopper but like me and actual Paddy get into like a deadly convo bouts like starting an actual business or whatever? And he’s there gain “Yea man I’m tellers ye, there’s like such an actual gapers in the marko for like some shit, and like once we think of it, it’s gonna be like “eh super anti-nigs whopper boom! we’re loaded”. So it’s like we bounce a few ideas of each other’s tits, while we’re ironically enough off our actual tits, and it’s like “Whops! Let’s totes gay dane the like event management road!”, and I’m like “yea let’s like set up a website and like organise sound events where like ye have to like pay in but you don’t mind cuz there’s like music and somewhere to like leave your coat and like talk to your mates who are like also there cuz they’re like presumably also relatively sound, and like there’s a bar where they like give ye drink in exchange for money, and like even whopper buzzes if you like know the owner which we like will cuz like that’ll be us or whatever”. And it’s like we’ve seen into the fabric of reality or something here, and it’s like how did we not think of this before? So like I’m there “eh this’d be fairly first tune on the shit buzz list if we totes forgot this buzz” so it’s like we totals writesers downers the idea. But it was well annoying a week later when we found what we wrote cuz like all it said was “YEAA MAYSH ACTUAL TOTZERS ON FOR MAZERS TIME WITH THE LADS OR WHATEVER”, and like even though that’s totes an indication of like how much of an actual shower of free spirit buzzers we basically are, I asked my dad and he was real cuttingly like “Eh..I think those jeans are cutting off the circulation to whatevers left of your basic brain cuz that’s so not a go forward idea” then he like sighs and just goes “This is South Dublin, act accordingly”


Say then after dane the country buzz we like jump back in the cars and like on the way up to the warehouse party I like ring Fad’s gaff and like while I’m bompin a bit of buzz up my schnozer I’m like “Yea this is like unnamed cretin #1 Mrs like, eh Fad? Your son is like in critters condition in the hopper” but then Sara, like out of her totes, basic dances her way from the back of the car into the front seat and lobs the basic gob on me and I’m like “fuck this for a bag of yammers” and basically get real into it and like me n al the basic lads are like “SCORING AND ACTUAL DRIVING SCORING AND ACTUAL DRIVING NAH NAH NAH NAH” and like I just catch a glimpse of Duckers new tee which basic says “eh..if I’m not having a buzz crack me across the noggers with your tits”, and like I have to admit that the guy is a basic hero.
I basically can’t remember toss all from the rest of the actual night, but I do remember this real weird bit where we were all at this club ‘Crossroads’ in like London, and like it could have been a gaff party cuz like to be fair I’m fairly sure I remember some lads like making us do heroin and saying we were like ruining the buzz cuz we wouldn’t stop basically chanting and like dancing with our digies around our bellends. Anyway I went on a search for the rest of the bag of dodecahedron that I’m fairly sure Padge had, and I basically walk in on this group of lads basically pummelling Forward Slash in the basic stomach like trying to make him puke and then like succeeding and like sifting through the basic puke on the carpet looking for like something? Or whatever. And I’m like “forward slash what the fuck?”, but before he can answer I’m on the basic floor sifting through the puke looking for basic buzzes which have got to be in here, and I totes find one and clearly bang that shit....then I like catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror on my knees with a pukepill in my actual gob and I just look at myself for a minute, all having a moment and shit.............................all of a sudden it just hits me, the actual state of me and my basic life........................and I’m like: .................................FUCKING TOTES MAZERS WHOPPER BUZZ OR WHAT? HERE’S TO 10 BASIC MORE ACTUAL YEARS OF MAZERS NIGHTS FORWARD SLASH SESHES BACKSLASH BUZZES!